Sarah Deschamps
I Couldn't Tell you
The True Story of a Mother and Daughter's Journey to Overcome Their Mental Health Demons
I Couldn't Tell you
by Sarah Deschamps
This powerful memoir continues the story begun in Journey to Japan: A Life-Saving Memoir, revealing what happened after a family believed the worst was finally behind them. After years of medical crisis overseas, Sarah and her family return to the United States hopeful that their young daughter’s health battles are over. Instead, a devastating diagnosis triggers a new and far more complicated struggle—one that unfolds not only in hospitals, but in the hearts and minds of a mother and child.
As physical illness gives way to emotional and psychological trauma, the book explores how medical hardship can fracture family dynamics, identity, and trust. Sarah’s candid account traces her daughter’s descent into fear, anger, and despair, and her own parallel unraveling as a parent desperate to protect the child she loves.
Honest, fast-paced, and deeply moving, this memoir sheds light on the hidden toll of chronic illness and the strength required to keep going when hope feels out of reach.
I Couldn't Tell you
by Sarah Deschamps
This powerful memoir continues the story begun in Journey to Japan A Life-Saving Memoir, revealing what happened after a family believed the worst was finally behind them. After years of medical crisis overseas, Sarah and her family return to the United States hopeful that their young daughter’s health battles are over. Instead, a devastating diagnosis triggers a new and far more complicated struggle—one that unfolds not only in hospitals, but in the hearts and minds of a mother and child.
As physical illness gives way to emotional and psychological trauma, the book explores how medical hardship can fracture family dynamics, identity, and trust. Sarah’s candid account traces her daughter’s descent into fear, anger, and despair, and her own parallel unraveling as a parent desperate to protect the child she loves.
Honest, fast-paced, and deeply moving, this memoir sheds light on the hidden toll of chronic illness and the strength required to keep going when hope feels out of reach.
"I wanted this book to be written because I know what it feels like when you think no one will ever understand, and when you believe you are alone in what you are going through. This book is for anyone who feels like it'll never get better, but it does."
- Lily Deschamps (Sarah's daughter)
Book Cover Design – Source of Inspiration
The cover design is inspired by a tattoo Lily created in collaboration with her artist. It features the symbol of Venus—the Roman goddess represented by a circle with a small cross beneath it—an enduring emblem of beauty and femininity.
Layered across the symbol is a soft purple brushstroke. As Lily shared, “It’s hard to be a woman—especially hard for me. I don’t often feel beautiful. Purple is the color of royalty. It reminds me every day that I am a queen in my own right, and I deserve to treat myself that way.”
This imagery captures both vulnerability and strength, serving as a personal reminder of self-worth, resilience, and feminine power.
Recent Reviews
It is very gripping. This is harrowing stuff. How could you as a mother bear it? I can’t believe what you went through. It takes courage to survive all this and write it down in a readable fashion. You are a survivor. You are honest about your own personality, it really comes through. You are inspirational. I must read it again, you wrote it so well. The scene with Lily singing is so powerful, I burst into tears. It is a transformational moment.
I just finished reading, “I Couldn’t Tell You,” Wow! You hit it out of the park! I wish your path through parenthood had been simpler, but we don’t get to choose that. What a gift this book is!
Your story is so compelling, it gives people hope. It filled me with gratitude - makes one feel they're not alone. Your and Lily's strength to share it... I could feel it.
This is a searing portrait of a mom’s struggle to work through her own mental health challenges as she handles her daughter’s complex medical needs over many years. The writing is compelling, I could not put this down! Many moms (and daughters!) will relate to this story. Parenting can be a rough road, and this author puts it all out there, with themes vividly brought to life, including anxiety and OCD, medical PTSD, parental expectations, teenage independence, marital challenges, all of it! But also there’s a ray of light to let you know you can get through it. Highly recommend!
Your book is marvelous. The raw emotions you share…wow! Very powerful.
Your book came yesterday, and I read it cover to cover today. It is so compelling and so beautifully written. I was moved to tears and struck time and again by your voice and your authenticity. I am overwhelmed by the thought of all you’ve been through. The book is exquisite.
As a medical professional, this book is a revelation - giving a perspective rarely talked about - how physical and mental health issues compound for both the patient AND those who care for them.
While so few can empathize on a medical level, this memoir tells of a deeply personal journey everyone can relate to on some level of a time when one had to cope with a situation utterly out of one’s control. This book lays out the fears, anxieties, uncertainties we have all felt in our lives, all under the guise and immense strain of putting on a hopeful and supportive face for your loved ones when you only feel helpless.
This read is a beautiful reminder for us all to acknowledge that it’s ok to not be ok. And that there is a way through
I devoured this book in two sittings.
Your book is great! It is funny, heartbreaking, frightening, heroic, enraging, healing, inspiring…wow!
Reader Insights & Key Takeaways
- The paralyzing fear that your kid might die on a particular day or the next or the next.
- The fear that other people don’t understand the importance and right way to deal with your kid.
- The lack of spousal equity in efforts.
- Always walking on eggshells
- Starting to feel things are okay, but then they are not.
- Feeling exhausted, weepy, but still having to hold it together
- Changing expectations and your own judgments about things like college, tattoos.
- The stigma of mental health issues keeping you from telling others what you are going through.
Recent Reviews
I was engrossed in this mother's journey from the moment I started the book. It is an amazing testament to the power of a mother's love. My deepest admiration for the tenacity of this mother, this child and the entire family. I want to hug all of you. 🙂
I just finished reading this book and absolutely loved it. The author has done a phenomenal job with describing the story, the emotions, the challenges and the triumphs! And while the topic is serious, it also made me laugh at multiple times with good humor. Well done!
My book club read this book. Not only did we all give it 5 stars, but the discussion afterwards brought up all sorts of interesting facts about our own journeys in this life. Very well written!
I read this book in one sitting, I could not put it down. This beautiful family fought hard and saved the life of their child, facing innumerable obstacles, that would raze most of us to the ground. This book will speak to anyone in need of inspiration and the humor, humility and raw humanity make it a page turner. I highly recommend this book.
I loved this book. As a previous Tokyo expat, I was immediately transported back to our own journey. I could so relate to Sarah's observations & descriptions of life as a foreigner in Tokyo. The joys & the challenges. Reading about Sarah's family's triumph over adversity was inspiring. What an incredibly stressful, exhausting & traumatic time for little Lily and their whole family. It is so thoughtfully written & easy to read, despite the complexity of the medical situation. For anyone going through a challenging medical journey with a child, this book shows the power & unwavering strength of parental love, against the backdrop of living in a foreign land.
This is a story of high hopes and soul-crushing despair that Sarah and Fred go through as they adjust to the realities of living in a foreign environment while welcoming into the world a baby that requires urgent and extensive medical care to survive and thrive. Throughout this journey, Sarah describes her feelings with exquisite candour. She invites us to share, uncensored, the raw emotions that she experiences both towards the foreign culture in which the story unfolds (Japan) and where she is consistently reminded that she does not belong and towards her baby Lily to whom she so desperately wants to offer all the opportunities of living a full life.
Through the narration of this very personal journey, the author reminds us of the universal power of love, courage, and hope in the face of insurmountable challenges. A truly inspiring read!
The author takes us through a race against time to figure out what is wrong with her newborn and how to fix it. Her baby has a rare and complicated condition, but through perseverance, dedication and organization, she figures it out. At times tender, at times funny, at times sad and at times happy, this is a real-life story of life. How everything you thought you had can turn in an instant and you have to re-invent yourself again. This is a book of inspiration for everyone who has faced or is facing adversity and is walking an unfamiliar path.
There are memoirs about struggling to heal a very sick child, some about the rollercoaster of emotions that come from navigating life in a foreign country, but this one is a rare combination of both. The book explains how hospitals and medical care work in Japan (spoiler alert, not like in the US, especially the food). Sarah is clear eyed about her and her family's struggles. The book is peppered with pointed stories, including one that will make parents who remember their baby's public messes wince. The clear writing style ensures the reader will understand and relate to the Deschamps' family life in Japan.
Sarah Deschamps' compelling memoir details a mother's love and commitment to raising her young daughters despite daunting challenges. This book is a skillfully written page-turner with heart and masterful storytelling. I had a hard time putting it down: I kept wanting to find out the next turn in this family's one-of-a-kind story.
Sarah Deschamps
About The Author
Sarah Deschamps is an author and memoirist whose writing explores family, resilience, and the lasting impact of medical trauma. A former teacher and administrator in the United States and Japan, she later raised millions of dollars for nonprofit organizations. Her debut memoir, Journey to Japan: A Life-Saving Memoir, has been published internationally. Through her work, Deschamps brings empathy and honesty to stories of survival, parenting, and the emotional complexity of healing.
